Amy is a highly-educated woman with a great job looking for a long-term relationship but every guy she ends up with isn't looking for anything serious.
However, it seems that every guy I meet does not want anything serious. I'm tired of hearing that. It was brought to my attention that I might be the one not wanting anything serious (subconsciously), and as a result, I project that feeling to guys. But that is not true.What's this world coming to, she asks.Can't a gal test out a guy's sexual equipment before she starts a relationship with him? All the guys that want to paw her end up being players/cocky. Does she have to pretend to be somebody she isn't to meet a decent guy?
When I meet guys, I can't be myself because they find me very intimidating and shut down. The confident guys who can handle me are usually players/cocky. Also, I should add I don't have a problem sleeping with guys sooner than would be "appropriate" (as social standards have it).
This brings me to my questions: 1. Do I have to pretend to be someone I'm not to meet someone decent? 2. My sex life is very important to me, so I would like to evaluate my merchandise before I buy. What is wrong with that?
When your life gets to a point where you need to write to a newspaper to get relationship/love advice, it's time to take a good look in the mirror. She must have plowed through all her friends (and therapists) who told her decent guys don't have long-term relationships with whores.
Here's a few snippets of advice she's garnered:
The problem lies in how Amy sees men (and I'm not saying that men don't do that to women at all). I find her phrase "evaluating the merchandise" very enlightening - it seems to me that to her, men are nothing but merchandise which will be another "thing" to add to her life, like a car or plasma TV. Yesterday, someone wrote about taking a car for a test drive as an euphemism for sex. Sure, sexual compatibility is important, but these phrases are a clear indicator that some people don't see other people as human beings first, but as objects they need to fulfill their love life. And in that attitude lies the problem. Change the approach and attitude to relationships and people, and it's quite possible that many of the problems will go away.
can i get your number?
You didn't make a mention if you consider yourself attractive. I'm wondering if "beer goggles" involved in the early evaluation of the merchandise. In other words, are guys leaving the bar with Beyonce and waking up with Tracy Morgan in drag?
I have a few comments-
1.) Keep your clothes on- guys will not date a whore who sleeps with them too soon.
2.) Maybe guys don't want to date you because your personality really sucks.
3.) I think most men want to feel like they are the men in the relationship, so perhaps the fact that you are acting like the dom turns them off.
4.) Maybe you're the one who's bad in bed.
What a crying shame this poor girl's psychosexual development was hijacked by the whores.
When you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas.