Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Cardinal O'Malley Bringing in a Yoga Master to teach Sanskrit to Chancery Employees

Boston bloggers have been hearing now for months that the coven of women in the Chancery have had a serious outbreak of the vapors.

Since sitting in front of Our Blessed Lord in Adoration does absolutely nothing for them, they consulted the ouiji board and Cardinal O'Malley has decided to bring in a yoga master for sanskrit.

The goal of yoga, or of the person practicing yoga, is the attainment of a state of perfect spiritual insight and tranquility while meditating on the Hindu concept of divinity or Brahman. The word is associated with meditative practices in Hinduism, Janism and Buddhism.

I'll bet you didn't they couldn't get any weirder.

Off the record: my sources tell me that the women are so grateful, they have bought the Cardinal special red leotards and tutu, and will be presenting it at the first class. (It is a surprise, so please button your lips.) Sources also tell me Jim McDonough's former office has been turned into a space for the Hare Krishnas to do cleansing enemas, under the supervision of Mark Dunderdale.

It could happen!

Our friends at BCI have posted the contact information for the legumes who have oversight and accountability for the pagan ritual. Please give them a call or drop them an email.


susan said...


Steve "scotju" Dalton said...

Hare Krishna's do cleaning enemas?!Well, these idiots are full of it anyway, so it will do them a lot of good!

Karen said...

On the positive side, how much worse can things get? Maybe it's all up from here.....maybe....

breathnach said...

What's next for "Cardinal Sean", Ravi Shankar sitar music piped into the chancery 24/7? A retreat to retrace the steps of the Beatles in 1968 to the Rishikesh ashram of the Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi?

Jack O'Malley said...

Hello, this is Seán Yogi O'Malley, Archguru of Boston speaking. The Lord Krishna has asked me to tell all of you that we will be contemplating our navels daily in the pastoral center.

At least those who can find their navels. For the rest of us, we are offering free Weight Watchers memberships to be funded by a special collection at all the masses next Sunday.

May you all find your inner splendour and cosmic harmony. In this life and your future lives until you attain nirvana and are absorbed into Brahma.

Om. Om. Om. Omm. Ommm. Ooommmm.


StevenD-Jasper said...

I don't whether to laugh or cry..I mean, how bad can it get...

Carol said...

You guys crack me up.

I think I'm going to contact the luminaries in charge and see if I can take some pictures and do a story for the blog.

There's actually a little more to this sad story that makes the spiritual malpractice, most disturbing. It appears the yoga classes are being done "in memory of" a diocesan employee who was a yoga teacher, who sadly, took his own life in December.

Tragically, this was the second suicide of a Chancery employee in one year.

While there is no way anyone would ever know if the occult practice of yoga was a driving force in the poor man's despair, it is the worst kind of misfeasance and malfeasance to bring this occult practice into the Chancery under these circumstances.

Steve "scotju" Dalton said...

Carol, there is a chance that the practise of yoga might have contributed to the despair of that suicide. I have read several books and articles about yoga and every one of those books and articles, wheather written from a pro or anti-yoga stance, warns about the dangers of yoga. One book, that I've read, by a guru by the name of Pre, warns that that one can come down with medical conditions that modern medical science has no cure for! Well, lets hope Obamacare, which our bishops originally wanted and are now fighting against, will cover those uncurable illnesses that yoga can cause, or would that be a violation of church/state separation?

Carol said...

You are spot on. They know full well that the possibility exists that the occult 'yoga' has the potential to introduce could have contributed to this man's drastic act of despair. Yet, they are, quite literally, sponsoring the occult and subjecting more staff members to its damaging potential.

Two suicides of staff members in a year. With friends like that, the devil needn't exert any effort at all to reap an abundant harvest.

Without the foundation of truth and Sacramental grace, we'd be right there with the village idiots getting treated to the occult courtesy of a Catholic Cardinal - ignoring Christ's Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity ten feet away from us.

Thank you Jesus for you vigilance in sending priests, nuns, friends, relatives, lay people you sent my way to get the truth through my blockhead.