1. When Romney's convictions have not won over grassroots voters, he will get new ones.
“Republican voters have sent the message that they want to vote for an adulterous scumbag and I have heard them loud and clear,” he said. “I promise that I will engage in a world-class extramarital affair that will make all of us proud again.”
According to one senior advisor, the Romney campaign was already holding focus groups and conducting special polling to determine the best person with whom Mr. Romney should conduct his extracurricular dalliance.
And in a sign that Mr. Romney is taking precipitous action to find an object for his adulterous intentions, today his campaign launched a new dating site, SexyTimeWithMitt.com.
Go ahead and laugh. But I'm telling you, it is not far-fetched!
2. Anne Fox of Mass Citizens for Life will send out a press release with a lot of exclamations points saying "It is PRO-LIFE".