Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Liturgical Dancer Shoots Up Before Masses

It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood early Monday morning. This comes just days after reports that Griffin’s trainer, Jake Stately, admitted that he had not only injected Griffin before “numerous Masses,” but that he also had one of the syringes used on the 56-year-old dancer. This woman was robbed. While the rest of us are somewhere focusing on Christ's Passion, Death, Sacrifice and Resurrection, this woman is thinking it's all about me. My dancing. Everyone will be watching me. Need drugs to perform. Wow. Just wow.

10 comments:

susan said...

aofpok...I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but this is a joke....right???

love the girls said...

I'm really glad to see this finally making headlines. It's an ongoing scandal that locally just will not go away.

And its not just the liturgical dancers, the worst offenders are the EME's who have turned their prancing about the sanctuary in preparation for distributing communion into a serious competition.

And as ususal the the USCCB Commission for Mass Doping think they're doing thier job by putting out their annual reports, collecting paychecks while we in the pews suffer.

TTC said...

Suzy, you mean there isn't a USCCB Mass Doping Committee?

TTC said...

love the girls,

Hang in there. We went through a period with liturgical dancers for a while but it has passed. Of course, there are other problems but that one is gone!

love the girls said...

I should add, it's not really the doping that's causing problems and scandal, but the dress.

The competition this past month has been skin tight leotards where one of the EMEs outdid the rest this past week with transparent peek-a-boo dots in all the right locations including two strategically placed to catch the eyes just right as she stood one step up. Which wouldn't be so bad, and actually kind of good, but all the guys in the parish crossed lines to be in hers causing mass confusion and more than a few upset wives.

Steve "scotju" Dalton said...
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Steve "scotju" Dalton said...

I noticed that Griffin is 56 years old. Liturgical dancing must take a lot out of a person, especially if they are 56 years old. I wonder how many other LD's are flying high without a plane just to keep up?

TTC said...

Stevie, I never saw one under 50, did you? They are a dying breed, literally.

The Stevie Nicks dresses, the kooky dances, the weird interest to focus people's attention on themselves in what is meant to be sacred and intimate moments between Christ and the souls in the pews. I just don't get any of it.

This spoof was hysterical, right up to the daffy committees the priests and bishops form to yaketty-yak for years instead of doing something about the problems.

love the girls, I guess you could be thankful they haven't brought out the liturgical puppets?

TTC said...

ps-be sure to check out the update on Catholic Match on the same website.

http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2012/11/19/man-on-catholic-match-finally-ready-to-message-kristin-51053/

A breakthrough.

Steve "scotju" Dalton said...

Carol, I have been lucky enough to never had seen any LD's in person or on video!