Lord, I'm Amazed with Me.

When I read this article, I really tried hard not to say, There they go again with another lame marketing scheme focused on how great they art.

I lost the battle.

Surely, I said to myself, one of the traits involves a priest who gives homilies that form consciences able to discern sin from virtue and available to administer the Sacraments.

But when I scratched the surface, it was a lot of hooey about 'real leaders' and a zippydoda experience on Sunday with good parking and donuts.

In fairness, one of the traits is 'compelling formation'

Compelling?

Do these people get the problem?

As soon as you convey the message it is necessary to refrain from sleeping around and using contraception, they walk out the door with their wallets. Because the Bishops want what's in the wallets, they've issued an edit to stop teaching the tenets of our religion and turn our parishes into religious entertainment for people plagued with the intellectual and spiritual effects of unrepentant sin.

It's a Sunday morn religious boondoggle.

I went to the website and poked around but it didn't get any better.
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I thought to myself, is it me? and did a google.

This post on onepeterfive has a link to a youtube on advice on how to bring the Sunday morning zippidedooda to your parish.

The 'weekend experience' coordinator and marketing person explain:

You have to find a mission based upon the likes of the people in the community and then 'construct your service to reflect those likes'. Build a lot of small details into crafting the amazing weekend experience.

The idea, they say, is to 'know the obstacles to YOUR guests coming into your Church community so you can remove them before they experience them.

The weekend experience coordinator tells us he came up with the idea that there are fathers bringing his children to a parish in our universal Catholic Church and he freezes like a deer in the headlights when he sees the pews. He claims there are men who don't know the rules on sitting down in the pews and the parish must have people at the doors to rush to the assistance.

Carol can't sit on a panel with folks the chancery personnel finds to be 'real leaders'.

I would not hesitate to explain that men are creatures who are perfectly capable of making their way to a chair at a sporting event, a seat on a crowded train or movie theater. There is no such animal as a man, clinging to the hands of their children at the doors of our Churches frozen in fear. So, let's skip the 'groups of friendly people' to welcome OUR "guests" and just let people sit down and talk to Christ without interruption or distraction. That's who they came to see. Their HIS guests.

Whatever you do, go to 2:45 at the video and listen to what this individual is looking for when he comes to the Sacred Liturgy.

A great atmosphere, like a theater with good lighting and music. The woman explains that these are tools and tricks of amazing - with the coffee cafe being the 'capstone of our weekend experience'.

A word to the wise: Don't bring this effort south of Quincy or there will be a lot of commotion.